Right. I’m not going to mention The Win. Because to be honest I’m actually starting to bore myself.
I recently stumbled upon a TikTok that resonated a little too much. In the video, an email draft was being edited: phrases like “Thank you so much for replying” were deleted, and “I’m afraid I seem to have a slight issue with …” was changed into “There’s a problem with…” The original (familiar) language was steeped in apology, and a reluctance to assert.
This hit home, if I’m honest.
As a lifelong people-pleaser, I’m inclined to say yes to everything, to be perpetually accommodating. This month, in particular, I’ve felt the strain as I tried to juggle too many commitments, sometimes at the expense of my own well-being.
Saying no is challenging – there’s a financial hit if it’s work, but perhaps even more than that because we all want to be seen as capable and dependable. We aim to be the hero that’s needed. To be all-conquering. Especially in the month you’re told that you have, indeed, conquered (did I mention we won a major national award?).
This drive to please, to not inconvenience others, isn’t unique to women – though I do see a stark difference even in my own family, where my sons seem to have no qualms about asserting themselves, about taking up space. They don’t shy away from being direct. It’s something I’m actively trying to teach my daughter – that her voice matters, her opinion counts, that she doesn’t have to shrink to accommodate others.
Singer Halsey gave an excellent speech a few years ago. It finishes with “I’m here to say that I’m not sorry for being… inconvenient. You were not put on this earth to make everybody else’s life easier. So please, be inconvenient.”
As I proudly watch my almost-adult children mature with confidence, I’m striving to follow their lead. To stop apologising. To be a little more inconvenient.
Laura x
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On our new council
I am concerned about the notable lack of North Dorset councillors in the new Dorset Council, with only one representative from Sherborne. North Dorset’s issues are not the same as those in Weymouth, Chickerell, and Dorchester – and Councillor Nick Ireland’s focus on these places potentially sidelines North Dorset’s issues. It’s vital for the council to ensure all regions, including ours, have a voice that’s heard and influential in decision-making. How will the council address this underrepresentation and guarantee that North Dorset’s interests are recognised?
Gavin P, Blandford
On the tourist’s view
The recent letter from a visitor highlighting their concerns about sheep worrying in Dorset captured an outsider’s perspective that many of us might overlook.
The tourist’s suggestion for a culture of accountability is a good one – can more stringent measures to enforce dog control, such as mandatory leashing in rural areas or near livestock be enforced on a local level, much like dogs on beaches are?
Bryan Green, Verwood
No singing from the tower?
It was so very sad to see that yet again The Choir of Sherborne Abbey did not sing from The Abbey Tower on Ascension Day morning. For the past few years this ancient tradition has just been dropped, with seemingly no concern. I wonder what the reasoning for this is? I presume it can’t be health and safety as it would apply to the other churches. Magdalen Oxford and St Johns Cambridge, together with many other churches, manage it … so what has happened to Sherborne Abbey?
Soon all these ancient traditions will be gone forever, as those of us who witness and remember, will pass on and incomers will have no idea just how much of Sherborne has been discarded, cancelled or changed at a whim. Bring in the new but please do not destroy our ancient heritage. There is room for all.
Shirley Fooks, Sherborne
Thank you
We would like to extend our sincere thanks to the gentleman who came to our rescue on Bank Holiday Monday at the Sherborne County Show. We had followed instructions to park on the field opposite Castle Gardens, and we ended up on a steep incline. Upon our return we were unable to move the car due to the wet slippery conditions.
A gentleman with his Land Rover and winch managed to get us moving – all we know is his wife was showing sheep at the show. The young lady parked next to us with her family was also in the same position requiring help. There was yet another family who, having pushed their car out of a difficult situation, offered to push our car.
Surely the organisers of the SCS car parking should factor in their risk assessment contingencies, such as having a vehicle on standby to help tow cars stuck in the field, rather than rely on the kindness of strangers?
Carol Porter, Leigh
When passing horses
Ah, it’s that blissful time of year again when our serene lanes are suddenly bustling with tourists*, who, bless their hearts, seem to treat passing horses as some kind of advanced driving test they weren’t prepared for. Yes, we all share the road, but that doesn’t mean our equine friends are ready to dodge cars like they’re in a game of Frogger.
Most drivers know the mantra: pass wide and slow. Of course, knowing isn’t the same as doing – I know I should eat broccoli, but here we are.
And here’s a bonus fun tip: please don’t start slowing down when you’re so far back that my horse starts wondering if you’re bringing the post. The longer you take creeping up, the more my horse ponders his life choices and the twitchier he gets.
Also, remember a startled horse doesn’t just stop; it bolts sideways faster than you can say, ‘Was that a squirrel?’ They’re more likely to take a fear-induced leap towards the road than away from it.
So, while you might think giving us a friendly honk to say hello is a nice gesture, it’s actually more like announcing the apocalypse to my horse. Fret not, we already know you’re there, thanks to our lack of a metal fortress around us.
And for those feeling extra generous, why not add ‘no revving your engine to impress us’ to the list of no thank you’s?
Frankly, my horse is unimpressed by your horsepower.
Let’s keep the roads safe and the local wildlife (and yes that includes horses) calm.
S D, Shaftesbury
*I lied. It’s not just the tourists that are the problem.
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